Life can appear to be a competition. Some of us have a desire to continuously compare ourselves to others. A few examples come to mind…If we can make more money, we will be able to show we have more things. If we focus on becoming prettier or more handsome than others, the more we will be seen. The more we are seen, the more opportunities we will receive. The more opportunities we have, the further will we will propel ourselves into a better job, better finances, and better life satisfaction. Why do we feel a need to compete and compare? Is being, doing or getting more than someone else even worth the struggle?
The truth? We are no better than anyone else. And more importantly, we are no less than anyone else.
We have been blessed with individualized worth, personality, beauty, skills, strengths and more! To compare ones ’self to another is a disservice to our soul and individuality. No one can be like us, for we were created to shape the world using our diverse assets and distinct character. We are made to breathe life into our own dreams, our thoughts and our actions. We are destined to build up our families, our co-workers, and our friends. We are full of possibilities, ideas, and attitudes. Without our personalized contributions, this earth would be filled with repetitiveness and monotony. Constant comparison sucks the life out of us, it steals our joy, our fun, our patience, our kindness, our gratitude. Comparison competes with our health, our willingness to give, our desire to see the true brilliance in another, and to show ourselves self-compassion.
Do your best to avoid the judgment game. Begin by acknowledging that you are a player in it. Then, start to notice how comparison makes you feel, in the physical (a queasy stomach, fast heart beat etc.), the mental (irritation, rumination, searching for the best comeback etc.) and the spiritual self (loss of attention, speaking poorly to oneself etc.). These are true feelings and sensations and once you begin to notice them in your body, mind and spirit, you can begin to act on them, by choosing to continue the behavior, or by choosing to address it and then adapt to learn behaviors that will fuel you, rather than deplete you.
If you are seeking transformation, then be generous in sharing your distinct self with the world, believing with your whole heart that you have purpose, without comparison, because you already possess incredible strengths and talents that no one can match. Enjoy others in your company, be fully present, share your admiration with them, try giving a compliment and see how it makes you feel. Make a simple list of all the great things about you and your life. Read it out loud. Take a deep breath when you notice negative sensations in your body and pause before you speak harmfully to yourself or someone else. Make the choice to be content in your world, accepting that your unique self is enough, for there is absolutely no one who can ever replace you, or compare to you.