Imagine the normal image of a veil. The bride glides down the aisle, groom awaiting, veil partially covering her excitement and joy for her to-be husband, and then the veil is lifted, just before the kiss, where everyone holds their breath as their lips meet.
Imagine a Different Veil
Now, imagine a different veil. One you are fearful of lifting, so instead you hide. This is not the hide-and-go-seek play of childhood.
This is a different way of hiding, it’s the trying not to be seen behind a wall of protection hiding. Or tucking yourself away in a compartment of, ‘I wish I had (or hadn’t) done that’ hiding. Or shrouding your soul in a dark cloak, where you choose to only share the parts of you that you consider safe.
The imaginary veil I’m writing about is different than the joyful bridal veil, this veil is about hiding.
Veil of Hiding
We decide to wear the veil of hiding for many reasons. It may be hiding from fear, or anger, or of staying the same. It could be the veil of, I’m not good enough, or they don’t like me, or, one of protection or expectations, or ‘shoulds’. It could be a veil of wishful comparison, or of not being true to who you are.
Whatever the veil of hiding, they all conceal you from your reality and who you are. These coverings keep you from being seen by those who love and admire you and want to be connected to the true you, because, well, you are loved so deeply.
Author and Poet Mark Nepo
I attended a virtual workshop led by author and poet Mark Nepo, whose recent book is titled, The Book of Soul: 52 Paths to Living What Matters (my affiliate link, I will get an itty-bitty kick back if you purchase his book from this link). I had no idea what the workshop would be about or what I might learn, and I hadn’t read any of his books, or his poetry, but went, on a whim, just because something about it called to me. Some say, there are no coincidence, and I’d have to agree.
It was worth it. Here’s one of his poems, it’s called, Soft as Dirt, True as Sky.
“Soft as Dirt,
True as Sky
There are no shortcuts. You
have to live through the dark
to wake in the light.
You have to swim across
the sea of no to land
on the shore of yes.
You have to break all certainty
to find the pearl encased
in tenderness.
Shells are meant to incubate,
not last forever. Like dreams
or wounds or beliefs, not
meant to live in.
But to shed like cocoons.
Or the soul will earthquake
through the walls we thicken.
”
Mark read a few of his poems, and then chatted about the essence of his readings. His powerful words began to tap on my heart, gentle at first, until the little flutter said, ‘he’s talking directly to me!’. It made me sit up and take notice.
Be Real, even when Troubles Take Us Away
Mark spoke about our potential to be real. He said, even when troubles and challenges take us away from reality and away from our authentic self, or make us hide behind a veil, there are practices, or choices we can do and make to bring us back to ourselves.
Mr Nepo shared a story of how he and his mentor and friend Parker Palmer conversed over tea. Parker Palmer, said, “There is only one reality, and the only way to access it is to be real.”
“Nicole is a thorough professional, very friendly and approachable, with enthusiasm for life, who encourages and motivates people to be healthier and happier.”
Reality has the Word Real in It
It is fascinating that the word reality has the word ‘real’ in it, isn’t it? But how do we access reality? Mark spoke of lifting the veil.
Lift the Veil
The five ways Mark Nepo shared to help us choose to lift the veil of hiding are;
Be still
Recall moments of great love
Recall moments of great suffering
Invite expression
Take a risk
The following is my personal reflection on pieces of the wisdom he shared about lifting the veil of hiding. Perhaps you may relate, or perhaps you can take my thoughts and weave them with your own wisdom, because that’s all you really need to find your answer, your own wisdom.
Your wisdom is one piece of what makes you real, allow it to guide you.
Be Still
It is a choice to be still amongst all the noise and distraction around you. Yet despite the continuous stimulation and pull, stillness can be found in many ways.
Personally, I find it difficult to be still. I keep trying though. I suppose this is how I can choose to lift my hiding veil, if only for a moment. I can choose to be still in mind, still in my heart, still in body, or a variety of other ways.
I find moments of stillness in states of flow, like when I am riding my bike, running on a trail, or stopping to touch a tree. I find moments of stillness while listening to music I love, trimming my trees, or planting bulbs. I find moments of stillness while petting my cat as he lay so trustingly in my lap.
Moments of stillness happen while I wash my dishes, or chop up garlic. And I trust in these moments of noticing stillness, that perhaps an accumulation of all of those seconds will help me trust and return to myself, with patience and love.
2. Recall Moments of Great Love
When is the last time you have felt and appreciated a moment of great love?
Receiving great love reminds you of your deep-seeded need of being with another, feeling love shine on you. And offering great love opens you up to vulnerability and a deeper meaning in your heart and soul.
3. Recall Moments of Great Suffering
When is the last time you have felt and appreciated a moment of great suffering?
As an Intensive Care Nurse, I saw suffering daily. But to feel personal suffering is a unique experience. Suffering involves a complex blend of physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional facets that make up a human being.
From every illness, challenge, or deep misfortune there seems to be a life-affirming lesson, if we are willing to be a student of it. Finding meaning in suffering is a personal experience, and when you are faced with suffering, your spirit seems to stands up and take notice.
Your Spirit flows from an urge to understand, to live, to connect and to transcend and rise above above self to maybe focus on others when ready, allowing you to be authentic to what your heart, your body, and your soul feels. This lifts the veil.
4. Invite Expression
Mark shared the words, “What is not expressed is depressed.”
I invite expression through writing blogs like these, attending webinars, or writing in a journal. I express myself in teaching my senior fitness class called Thrive. I expressed myself at Halloween by decorating my driveway with skeletons. I express myself while trying really hard to learn the ukulele.
How do you express your unique self? Take a moment to reflect now, or have a discussion with a loved one.
5. Take a Risk
Take a risk. Writing the words, it feels easy. Living in risk, not so easy. Being vulnerable, opening up to the possibility that another sees my true and flawed reality is scary.
But maybe that’s the point, for when we open up for others to see us as we really and truly are, we can find, or reconnect to our realness, or reality.
Lift the Veil
It’s time to lift the veil and live the life you are called to.
And in the powerful words of Pulitzer Prize winning author Anthony Doerr, “Don’t you want to be alive before you die?”, from his book, All the Light We Cannot See: A Novel.
What steps will you take to Lift the Veil?
NICOLE VIENNEAU, MSN, RN, NC-BC
~Active Aging Specialist, Health Protection Expert & ‘Head’ Motivator!
Nicole knows how to inspire you with habits and behaviors that protect your health. She understands the science to support you and makes learning coupled with action fun!
Nicole’s Memere (grandma in French) lived with dementia after 13 strokes slowly stole her fire, her wit and her life. Through Memere, Nicole learned the gift of humor and creative ways to see hidden messages that can be difficult to express. Nicole uses these skills to create purpose, vitality and health in her clients with the Build Your Health System at Blue Monarch Health, PLLC
Nicole has been a Registered Nurse for +20 years and achieved a Master’s in Nursing Science from the University of Arizona, and a board certification in Integrative Nurse Coaching from the American Holistic Nurses Credentialing Corporation, and is Senior Faculty with the Integrative Nurse Coach Academy. She is a yoga teacher, personal trainer, and group fitness instructor and enjoys healing in nature while hiking the Pacific Northwest trails with her husband or lounging in the sun with her cat babies.
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